The One Word That Changes Everything
2025-12-17 11:31:33
In my household, we have one keyword. One mantra. One word to reset every overthinking pattern, interrupt every careless decision, and clear a path after every setback. It's a simple word, but the power it holds to reset lives, shift perspectives, and bring momentum is something I want to unpack in today's blog. “Get ready! Get ready!”
Grab a snack, get comfy and let's unravel the power behind this word.
That word is FOCUS.
How This Word Became Our Household Slogan
The English language has over a million words, and yet focus has become our creed. Let me break down why.
It starts with babies. From the moment we enter the world, focus is something we demand. A baby cries if you put them down to focus on other things. Toddlers need your attention or they'll find mischief (and they will, trust me). Children and adults stay glued to screens, all competing for one thing: your focus.
In our household focus became a single word that resets everything. Like a quiet reminder, a nudge to remind each other what is important. It’s a polite way of saying recenter, you are veering off track, or that’s a petty distraction, focus, but all calibrated in one simple statement, focus.
On a grander scale, brands constantly launch new products, new designs, new scents to keep up with everyone else trying to capture your attention. Here's how they calculate it:
Get your attention → Retain your focus → Convert you into a customer, consumer, fan etc.
We are dopamine-driven creatures. Our minds are ready to move on to the next hit barely after the last one fades. Companies know this. They've mastered the art of stealing focus. It's basically their entire business model at this point.
That's aspect one of focus.
Your Focus Drives Your Life
Now, take a deep breath for this one: your focus and thoughts drive your life. If you are unhealed, your focus is blurry.
Let me bring it home with full vulnerability. There was a season in my life when money was tight. The lifestyle I had built had to downgrade. Anyone who's been there understands, the transition is murky. I became bitter. I'd see others driving the car I once had or shopping in stores I couldn't walk into anymore, and the sting would rise every time.
My focus was on what I had lost, not what I was building. Not the beauty in the journey. Everything seemed dark. Looking back, I realize how that misplaced focus shifted everything about me, my perspective of the world, how I talked about things and people. At some point, jealousy took root. I was terribly unhappy and depressed.
Whatever you choose to focus on magnifies and grows.
Focus and Relationships
Let's talk about something controversial: relationships. You've heard it. "All men are trash." "All women are gold diggers." Or whatever variation is trending this week.
Sit in rooms where these conversations are normalized, and sure enough, that's all you'll begin to see and attract. But sit in rooms where men actually like women, not operating from hurt, trauma, or ego, and vice versa. Where men have mastered vulnerability and masculinity, and women stand in their femininity and wholeness. The conversations are different. Less bashing, more solutions. Less tearing down, more building up.
When I hear "good men or women don't exist," that's my cue to exit. As a woman, I've met amazing men, top-tier, kind, wholesome men. But I've also fallen prey to unhealed versions. So I can confidently say both exist. Same for women.
Your focus determines what you see. It's really that simple and that complicated.
The Cost of Misplaced Focus
The Israelites had no monarchy, no president, but lived under God's leadership. Yet when they looked around at their neighbors (focus stolen), they desired to be like them. This kind of FOMO (fear of missing out) was different. God was their King, but they admired nations with earthly human kings. (1 Samuel 8)
Despite all the warnings God gave them about the corruption and chaos a king would bring, they still chose that path. They forfeited the most powerful King to be like everyone else.
"But the people refused to listen to Samuel. 'No!' they said. 'We want a king over us. Then we will be like all the other nations.'" (1 Samuel 8:19-20)
Think about that for a second. What have you forfeited because your focus is on your neighbor’s plate? What have you traded yourself short in? Remember, life is optics. What looks good from the outside might be the exact opposite from the inside.
When you're not in control of your focus, you become susceptible to having it captured by anything that comes along and looks appealing. And here's the truth: the enemy's best strategy is to attack your mind. Once he does, he steals your focus. Overthinking? Anxiety? Fear? Worry? Paranoia? It all speaks to your focus.
"Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." (1 Peter 5:8)
Jeremy's Story: When Focus Fixates on Loss
I once met a man, let's call him Jeremy, who was having a streak of bad luck. Everything he had built began to collapse. His business failed. Old partnerships ended. He lost investments and assets. It was one loss after another.
Jeremy's identity was built entirely on his success and wealth. I don't blame him. A comfortable life can give you a false sense of elevated importance that's purely reliant on wealth and status. Unfortunately for him, the flaws in his character magnified because he no longer had the cushion of money to hide behind.
His friends began treating him differently because he became super insecure and easily triggered. In Jeremy's mind, everyone around him was looking down on him because he was broke. His focus was so fixed on what he lost that even the little he had left (friends, family) he destroyed through mistrust and insecurity.
Here's what I'm saying: I'm not oblivious to the fact that money does earn you an upper hand in life. But in Jeremy's case, it wasn't about the money. His focus was on all the wrong things. Suppose he had accepted his circumstances and focused on rebuilding differently, learning a new skill, exploring a new market, anything but fixating on what was lost. His story might have turned out differently.
Remember the pattern: First it steals your attention, then it gains your focus, and from your focus, whatever it is will grow.
Signs Your Focus Is Off
Here are a few indicators that your focus might need recalibrating:
1. Bitterness – You're stuck in the past. Statements like "I used to have..." or "I once was..."
2. Jealousy – You lack the character to build and find it easier to covet or resent others. Focus on your garden. Water it, and it will grow and bloom.
3. Ego-driven decisions – Your focus is on proving a point by any means. It may come from a need for validation, fear of rejection, or unhealed trauma. Most relationships break here.
4. Jumping on every trend – If you stand for nothing, you'll fall for everything. Focus on what makes sense for you and your journey. Just because it's trending doesn't mean you need it.
5. Constant need for validation – Life becomes performative, and that's a slippery slope. You'll easily lose yourself when your focus is on likes and applause.
6. Mindless scrolling or addictions – You're actively destroying your dopamine receptors, always looking for the next high. You find it hard to focus on tasks or even read a book because your attention span has shrunk.
7. Having many partners – I might get some heat for this one but NARI keeps it real. Having focus means you know what you want. So no matter how appealing someone or something looks, your focus is not swayed. Lack of it means anything that looks appealing goes, whether it aligns with you or not. It leaves you emptier and even less focused.
8. Tearing other people down – Your focus should be so locked in on your journey that you have no time to tear others down.
9. Worry, anxiety, or fear – This is focusing on what you cannot control. It robs your joy and peace.
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (Matthew 6:34)
The Lens Never Lies
Whatever you choose to focus on reveals who you are within.
Fine-tune your focus. Let go of what needs to go and what you cannot control.
Today's post hits a little different because every word felt like me calling myself out. My focus has been off, distracted by too much noise. Not unaware, just never still enough to recalibrate.
This is my wake-up reminder, and I hope by extension, it's yours too. Knowledge is power, but only if execution brings light. Knowing your focus is off is only one part. Execution is the rest.
If this resonates, let me know in the comments: What stole your focus? Were you aware of it? Let's chat!
Till the next one, I wish you love, light, and focus.
Maureen
Maureen you've done it again! Before I read this I would have never agreed that focus reveals who you are within but you've made it make senseđź‘Ś A master piece!